Writing Challenge - Arm-Wrestling Ninja Zucchinis

Have you ever tried to arm-wrestle ninja zucchinis whilst mining for diamonds with a stapler? I would certainly hope not. I did once. It wasn't fun. You would think martial artists made of vegetables wouldn't be that strong, but you're dead wrong. Their lack of muscles allows them to keep on fighting without getting tired. And staplers are not good mining tools. I swear mine broke five times in as many minutes. For some reason it was full, maybe to add some extra weight in case someone spontaneously decided to hit some rocks with it. Rocks are hard. I don't even know if I was looking in the right spot for diamonds. To be honest I was having trouble thinking around the slimy feeling in my hand and the random cat-like noises my opponent was emitting. I didn't expect to find any diamonds anyway. All I got were bruises on my knuckles from missing with my stapler, and a tomato throwing star embedded in my forehead. Don't try arm-wrestling ninja zucchinis or mining for diamonds with a stapler, and definitely don't try them both at the same time.